Welcome to The ManKind Project UK and Ireland
We are a registered UK charity who have been helping men to establish and pursue their own life purpose and nurture their emotional well-being for over 29 years.
We offer two ways for men to start their journey towards greater emotional well-being:
ONLINE GROUPS
Free Connection Groups
Connection Groups are men’s groups open to all men.
If you’re new to men’s groups, they are the perfect place to start.
They run for free online each week. You can sign up here or find out more.
There’s nothing to prepare, and nothing to bring other than yourself.
All men are welcome, regardless of colour, class, sexual orientation, faith, age, ability, ethnicity, and nationality.
THE ADVENTURE
Are you comfortable in your own skin?
Do you have the feeling, perhaps deep down, that there is something important missing in your life, some vital missing piece?
Do you struggle with isolation, inertia, or feelings and behaviour that you cannot control? Do you yearn to get to grips with the things that hold you back? If so, come and take the challenge of
Bring your questions, your hopes, your fears and even your scepticism, but be prepared to find something you were looking for.
FEATURED FROM THE BLOG
A group of Black and Brown men from within the ManKind Project UK&I are bringing to fruition a second Adventure dedicated to holding and empowering men like us, save the date March 15-17 2024!
Violence against women and girls must be prevented. Male perpetrated violence is an issue that men need to resolve. As a men’s well-being charity The ManKind Project UK & Ireland stands ready to do more.
Violence against women and girls must be prevented. Male perpetrated violence is an issue that men need to resolve. As a men’s well-being charity The ManKind Project UK & Ireland stands ready to do more.
Forty years ago on the outskirts of Sao Paulo, Brazil, Eber Guerrero sprung forth into the world. The father of that baby abandoned the family soon after, leaving Eber to be raised by his widower grandmother, as his mother worked to make ends meet and support the family. Following a life filled with adventure, entrepreneurship, hardships and hope, Eber found himself joining the New Warrior Training Adventure in March of 2019. It’s a story I barely got to scratch the surface of, but one absolutely worth telling, and one I can’t wait to share.
In 1985, the ManKind Project embarked on a mission to unite men under a banner of kindness and compassion. Today, the nonprofit has inspired and trained over 68,000 men to become the best possible version of themselves. The ManKind Project uses online training, in-person programs, and group work to nurture a global community of men who have the strength of character to show love, support healthy relationships, and make the world a kinder place.
THE NEW MASCULINITY CONFERENCE 2019, LONDON
This conference is dedicated to men who want to embody their masculinity with responsibility and positive intent.
The panel discussion and interactive workshops will focus on NEW MASCULINITY: How to embrace both our inner sensitivity and aliveness, and also our power and leadership in the world.
Big boys don't cry. Suck it up. Shut up and rub some dirt on it. Stop crying before I give you something to cry about. These are just a few of the phrases that contribute to a disease in our society, and more specifically, in our men. It's a disease that has come to be known as "toxic masculinity." It's one I suffered a chronic case of, so much so that I spent 24 years of a life sentence in prison for kidnapping, robbery, and attempted murder
For many years, MKP was cautious about what we shared. Were we ready for the world? Was the world ready for us? I think there is shame in there, tied to the old story of masculinity. Men don’t share what feels vulnerable … What if everyone knew that I broke down? That I’m afraid? That I long for love and long to feel powerful? That I need support?
The NWTA was a wake-up call. Vision and mission didn’t mean anything to me before the weekend but I’m still working with the vision and mission that I took away with me. My mission is about creating a heart world for children where they can flourish and grow, which led to me to become a parenting coach and running parenting workshops which I still do
One of the places that MKP has allowed me to step into – is leadership, which was another foreign place to me before. This kind of leadership means stepping into the kind of life that I have envisioned for myself – one of compassion, meeting the neighbours, connection as well as stepping up to the plate around leadership in terms of standing up for what I believe in.
My father gave me less than nothing as a role model, and now manhood makes sense to me in my body. I had ‘abuser beliefs’ because that’s what I’d taken in during my childhood. It was in my core. MKP was able to change that. I imbibed from men who had courage, generosity, compassion and wisdom, and that was such a privilege. I learnt integrity and accountability. I’m able to express how I feel. I have so much more clarity. My relationships are much better.
On the NWTA weekend it became clear I had to decide whether to stay closed up and wary, or to dive in, be more transparent and ‘do my work’. At one point in the training I decided to really go for it and as a result, something inside me genuinely opened up. I experienced a deeper connection with others, in some ways for the first time. I also started realising that vulnerability is strength, which I hadn’t realised before. I have since become increasingly aware of my potential as a man and how to step into that potential.
For me, my life is like a pressure cooker, it keeps growing in pressure so my i-group is a place where I can express all that energy whether it is grief, pain or laughter. It is a precious safe space where we are supported and challenged. It has a huge impact on my life. My wife says she can always tell when I need to go! I’d trust these men with my life, soul and spirit, that’s how important it is.
I think I closed down on the grief when my first wife died . It was a way of surviving for me. The weekend was an opportunity to open up the long black bag that Robert Bly talks about in Iron John, there was a choice to make, either live half a life or go for the full one. I’d locked a lot away. It was as if I had no feelings. So I made a decision to let go into my feelings. It opened up a new portal into life for me.
A few weeks ago I saw a screening of an intense documentary film called ‘The Work‘. It’s about a project with men at Folsom State Prison in the States by the Mankind Project and shows fruits of ten years work filmed during an intense bi-annual four-day workshop. Prison inmates are also facilitators in a programme inviting men from the outside into the prison. It’s an incredible piece of work, all the more fascinating when you realise how much time and investment has gone into creating conditions for it to be made.
I felt as though I wasn’t masculine enough in those stereotypical ways around my body, sports etc. What I discovered with MKP is that most men feel that way. There is a construct of masculinity in the media and culturally, and most men don’t feel it represents them. Seeing how many different versions of masculinity there are, helped me accept my version.
I was a successful cameraman, but it was the only thing in my life at the time, which gave me a sense of validation. It was how I saw myself as a man. If I was doing well, I felt fine, if not, I felt lost and drank as a way of numbing out my feelings. I’d been drinking since I was 16. In a way, the pub was a sanctuary for me. I was very lost. But I think in one way or another MKP probably saved my life. Sadly a cameraman I know took his life recently. It was a stark reminder of how important the work of MKP is for men today.
When I was growing up I thought that my father was perfect. He was my god – I strove to be like him. He had the belief that his behaviour was right and everyone else’s was wrong, if it were different from his own. This was so powerful and undeniable to me. I had no one in my life to make me think that maybe there was another way. But my father didn’t know the truth. His father didn’t and his father before him didn’t. They were simply passing on what they had learned in the best way they knew how.
Unplanned, unwanted, rejected at birth, and then subjected to everything that follows from that – humiliated, shamed for my very existence, oppressed physically, emotionally, spiritually…. A perfect recipe for the squashing of human potential. Of my potential.Was it an accident that I found MKP when I was at my lowest point? No, I guess not, for the universe does indeed move in mysterious ways. And what did MKP provide for me? A counterpoint to everything I’d experienced before, for sure. Support, from men – imagine that! To say that MKP has been a major influence in my life doesn’t even begin to cover what it has done for me.
The weekend was powerful for me. I was challenged, frightened and initially resistant. Like the other participants, it required me to summon a lot of courage. Was I the only gay man amongst 32 straight men? Although I was “out”, was it safe to disclose my sexuality to a room full of male strangers? Being a gay man I had been selective about whom I disclosed this to. However I have found MKP to be one of the safer organisations in which to be able to drop my guard about my sexuality. While MKP draws men from all sections of the community, it is often those who are open to learning and growth who join. MKP also encourages men to embrace diversity and acceptance and men are encouraged to challenge themselves around their prejudices.
Growing up, what did you want your father to say to you? What words did you crave from him? What words from him were you dying, literally dying, to hear? What I wanted my father to say to me was pretty simple. Son, I'm proud of you. That's it, that's what I wanted more than anything. And he could have said it anytime. This is what I wanted my father to say to me while I was growing up, and I wanted him to hug me when he said it. This is The Blessing. I wanted my father to give me The Blessing.I suspect, like me, you craved his Blessing, would damn near have died for his Blessing – although you might have had to pretend it didn't mean shit to you.
I was never entirely comfortable in just the company of men – I was yearning for a woman to make it better for me, to return to the womb perhaps… So in many ways the warrior weekend was my male initiation. It gave me so much to be thankful for. And it was absolutely essential I did this integration first and learned more about my own King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.
It was the most profound weekend of my life so far. I hope writing about it will reinforce the changes it has led to and help strengthen the resolve of other brothers to pursue and maintain changes they wish for in their lives. I went on the weekend hoping to practise and get better at socialising with other men. I came back being better able to be myself in front of other men, in front of myself, in front to colleagues, in front of friends and in front of strangers.
…..And there, beside the tie, is a little reminder of my Adventure weekend - a necklace, of sorts! I stare at it for a few seconds and then pick it up. It goes around my neck, and a couple of days later I have a job offer. What exactly was the connection of my reminder is thing though? Why was I so drawn to it, and what did I draw from it? A few months later I think I can answer that question. To me, it links me back to the place where I felt the strength of other men behind me and where there were times when I felt strong within myself. So now, when I start to feel angry or frustrated, both of which still happen, I have somewhere else to go for strength.